The adventure
With my scarf rapped around my neck, I walked into the old lab in which I use to be the person that opens the labs so I have the keys and the door code to enter.
I dropped all of bags on the table and lightly placed my glass bottle on the table. This reminds me of my final year project days when we use to fight the war. However, my mind was quite occupied with the work that I needed to complete, so I headed on.
After a couple of pages into my textbook, I laid back into my seat. Dropped my back rest and slide down so that my head can rest on the top of the seat. Now I started to feel my surroundings and my memories started to drip in bit by bit.
The first time, I took Apple into this lab was the first day that our fire of affinity started to burn. That day was so unexpected. I remember that morning to also be really cold… this is what happened that day…
I was walking back from the small coffee shop around the corner to the building of the labs when I decided to take a sneaky route. On the way, I heard someone call my name
I was surprised to hear anyone call my name during this time of the morning. It was around 6:45am. I am always that early bird because of my distance from home.
So I turned around to see this long silky haired girl and short, calling me. It was obviously Apple. We knew each other since high school when we use to play chess. So I greeted her back with a hug and said "Good morning"
So she told me that it is interesting because she never knew about this route that I am about to take even though she has been around for awhile now.
So we hopped along to my labs. I found it somewhat interesting that she followed me all the way to my labs. It was very unexpected but because she did that, I found it a lot easier to converse with her. I am a person that really doesn’t mind awkward moments. I tend to just go with the flow and then evaluate for myself later how I feel about the situation that just passed. I opened the security steel gate. With one hand on the handle of the door and my body leaned against the door, I told her that it’s a bit messy. Then I opened the door as she answered "Its ok" She gazed around and told me that it isn’t actually messy at all.
I showed her around to the room. Pointed out where the foosball table was, where we would normally sit to work. We ended up standing at the front of the room. I can’t really remember if I got her number that day or not but from day day onwards, I had her number. The last thing I did with her that day was walking her out.
My Thoughts
This is when my feelings took me back to the initial "happy feeling" when I saw her for the first time. I started taking an objective perspective of this situation to see what it actually is that is happening to my psychological self.
Why was I missing her? What makes me feel like I miss her? I came to the realisation that the things around me is stimulating the memory that I have of her. Which is then bringing up the feeling I have about her. Then the next set of questions started to pop up in my mind. Why are these things causing my brain to bring back such memories? Such feelings?
It seems like people tend to remember feelings a lot stronger than logical procedures of action. Feelings and emotions has a deeper meaning to us than anything else. Which starts to make sense why a lot of people cannot let go of different objects in their lives because of the memories they hold onto. Some people have their grand parent’s ashes strapped around their neck. Some people kept their childhood teddy bear that is already been stripped into pieces steadily placed on their top shelf. Fascinatingly, these objects tell us a lot about their emotional journey that they have been through.
People are emotional beings that get attached to events. Objects in our lives remind us of our feelings that we had when we were going through such experiences.
Thinking about this concept, I started to evaluate people around me. I seem to see a lot of people who base their actions on their accumulated emotions about someone. These accumulations all start from the first impression of someone.
When we are already angry with someone, it makes it really difficult to continue the conversation whenever we have to communicate with them. I can relate to that a lot in my life. The same can be applied to a lot of scenarios in my friends lives. What I seem to find interesting about this is that it is actually really hard to let go of the emotions we use to have about someone and face them as a totally new person. Even if the person has completely changed, we will still grip onto a lot of those emotions that we unravelled with the person.
When the scripts say that we should keep our enemies closer than our friends, we basically failing to do that every time we meet someone that we hate. We need to let go. We need to let go of our attachments. We need to give people a chance. We need to forgive people. We need to treat everyone like the creation of God.
These statements are easy to say, yet so difficult to do. Especially during the interaction with that particular person that burns your flames of anger. Can we respect someone that we hate? Can we respect someone that frustrates us? Can we forgive someone that hurt us before? Can we love someone just like how God loves us?
I am sure this ocean will let me know the meaning of life once I am ready for it…