The adventure
It all started when I was on my way to the bathroom and I decided to stop halfway when I saw this pretty girl sitting on the bench. It was quite a comfortable looking bench. I don’t even know what I was thinking … probably wasn’t thinking about anything. She was busy playing around on her phone when I marched up to her and sat right next to her on the bench. Could I say that I am quite glad my brain switches off sometimes for me to have these brave moments in my life.
For the purpose of this story, I am gonna call this girl Ira. I’ve already seen Ira quite a few times walking up and down. Just like my previous post "The whatsapp status", there was something that drives this spark between us. What I have realised is that sometimes, this spark never lets you know if it will go on and become a fire or will it die out after a few seconds of light. You kinda need to just check it out and see how far it takes you. Sometimes, the two of you are meant to be together, but not right now. Why would I say all this? Well, this is what happened.
The moment I sat down, she greeted me. She was quite friendly to me because we already have had quite a few awkward smiles with each other so we kinda acknowledge the existence of the other person. We started chatting and suddenly, I remembered this one Ted talk I watched on YouTube about big talk. It was a brilliant Ted talk that outlined the method of eliminating small talk and just getting into the important stuff in life. You can watch the video below:
So from gathering knowledge from that video, I said to her "what is your deepest fear?" so she hesitated for a minute or two thinking to herself "what is actually my deepest fear?"
She repeated herself a couple of times "what is my deepest fear" with a frown on her face. She came to a conclusion and told me that her deepest fear is sleeping. She always prays before going to bed. This felt very familiar to because I felt the same thing before. If you want to know what I felt, you can read "Revisit of the Numb Hand". So I shared her my experience with regards to that story and we kind of apprehended emotionally with each other because we understood the feeling. Funny enough, there is this thing with conversation specialists called "building rapport" which is exactly what I did.
We ended up drifting to a conversation about religion and belief. This was fantastic in the sense that we could get over the small talk as soon as possible and get into the things that really matter in life. She had a strong faith in her belief which was a very attractive characteristic to me. I kind of dittoed her on that regards. It seemed at the moment that we had a lot in common, but again, how big will the fire burn?
My short toilet break slowly became an hour chat. This interaction was just too fantastic for a toilet break. I really didn’t want to leave. But… I think that was the most we got to know each other.
After story
When we saw each other again, things changed. We didn’t build rapport so well with each other anymore. We had nothing else in common. We didn’t have the same interests. She loved reading, I didn’t. I loved star signs, she didn’t. There was nothing pulling us together anymore. I was scared I am gonna come off as trying to convert her if we start the topic on beliefs again. We got busy with our own lives and slowly drifted apart. Short and sweet.
My thoughts
Sometimes we don’t know how long a particular friendship, relationship or family-ship will last. When we get to know someone, and we connect on a deeper lever than we normally do with others, it doesn’t mean that it will end up being like that forever. When the fire died, it doesn’t mean it will forever be dead. But we have no idea what is the chances of that fire reigniting again. Sometimes, I feel like there is something out there that is toying with our emotions.
I personally don’t think being detached to people is the final answer. However, when we come in contact with a person and this fire is flaming with warmness, all of a sudden … the fire dies… how much we want that fire to be alive again is intense. It becomes really cold. So at this moment in time, are we able to let go? … Are we able to start from the beginning again and act like the fire has never started before? Especially when you come in contact with the person once in a while?
This is a very similar concept with people who started off very poor in their childhood and they found a way to earn lots of money. Once they got themselves up the ladder of billionaires and making it rain with cash, and then suddenly have nothing left. Would these people be able to deal with the massive change? Or would they commit suicide like how a large portion of them did? This video link shows it all:
And here is what I think. In life, there isn’t much that we cannot do or get attached to, we just need to be able to be prepared to let go of it if one day we end up not having it anymore. So the only reason why some people would try their best not to get any of these attachments is because they are afraid that they won’t be an able to let go the moment they start. Some easy examples are like the only cup of alcohol tonight, the only cigarette for the day, the only cup of coffee for the day, the only packet of chocolate for the day, the only pack of coke that I will smoke today.
I am sure this ocean will let me know the meaning of life once I am ready for it…